#Voicethisout

Hey Anuakka,
I think only you can listen to me without judging me. I’m your Dec Pre-pregnancy student.

I got married in Dec 2020, and decided not to plan a child for one year. In May we were hit by second wave of covid. I was very much affected. My father in law also passed away.

My MIL after that have always blamed me for his loss, because I was the one who took him to the hospital when his Oxy level dropped to 76, I was the one who somehow arranged ventilator for him ( you know how difficult it was than). I started feeling guilty for it. I blamed myself. My husband stopped paying attention to me, I was totally ignored in the house, as if I don’t exist.
I felt loneliness and depression to such an extent that I started getting panic attacks, I was medically diagnosed with severe depression.

After I overcame this situation, I thought we should plan for a baby as we completed one year. I registered for your Pre-pregnancy webinar.

But now again, my MIL , one day came to me and said she wants her husband to come back, in simple words she wants only a son from me, and said she will be upset if I give birth to daughter. Same with other family members , grand mother in law have Said same thing, and have same mentality.

I’m very much scared of my baby’s gender before even I’ve conceived. I’m scared of how my in-laws will treat me n my baby if it’s a girl, what if they don’t ever accept her… I am not able to be stress free.

And btw, we stay in our States capital, that is a city and not in village. My MIL is professor in a college. I mentioned bcz we think that only village people have this old school mentality. No we are wrong.

The reason I’m writing to you is there will be many girls like me who will be facing this. #voicethisout campaign of yours gave me courage to type this.