Rules for Dads?
#voicethisout
Hi Anu akka,
I had given birth to my baby girl in April and she is 5.5 months old and had gone through C-section.
My c- section was used as a mockery saying that I went out on ammavasya that’s why I am having c-section (this was told during my operation blaming me rather than being supportive as a MIL)
From the day of my marriage there are lot of misunderstandings created between me and husband through my MIL (in the name of social norms – dos and don’ts) which continued and became more after my birth. I’m battling deep depression and anxiety at night as I tend to think a lot about my future with husband and baby. I could literally feel my heart pounding and fear of my husband being apart from me and baby!
My MIL in the name of traditional beliefs teaches saying that:
- “it’s not gents work to take care of babies it’s ladies”
- “gents must not touch diapers only ladies should change”
- “men should not touch a woman’s feet for massaging only woman should touch men’s feet” ( there were days where I literally used to cry out in pain during pregnancy due to varicose vein I used to rub balm by myself not able to reach my back knee with the bump – I was still ignored cuz I’m a woman and it’s common to go through pain.)
-I’m not allowed to call my kid “chubby” “birdy” “Rasgulla”, she says it’s not good to call them when my husband asks why she says it’s not good to for the baby.
-It has been constantly thought by MIL that “those days we ladies took care of the baby alone why is your wife not able to and complaining or asking for help “
-I’m expected to cook and wash vessels too cuz “men should not enter kitchen to wash vessels and cook”
Putting all these together had become very difficult to make him understand that I need his support as a father — a mother is a person whom we learn from, as we trust her but he has been thought wrong.
I believe it is very very very important as a mother to raise their kid with good teachings and woman are no less!!!! Especially to reflect in the care they give to their wives during pre & post pregnancy!!!!!!
The beautiful love and bond can easily be destroyed by a person who herself is a ‘mother’ does wrong teachings
Right now, my baby girl is my strength 💪 and she keeps me going.
I so wish and pray to God that every men are raised in a right way and share the love and responsibilities equally with a women!