#voicethisout

Hi Anu Akka,
I have attended your labor management class and breastfeeding class. Now I’m a mother of a 4-month-old girl. Thanks for all the information. So helpful for new mothers.

I’m here to share one of the comments by my MIL right after I had my baby. In 2019, I gave birth to a baby girl around 32 weeks through emergency c-section, she had some health issues and unfortunately, she left us in two days after birth. It took a lot of time for me and my family to heal from the loss and by God’s grace I conceived in April 2021again. Imagine how anxious I will be to deliver a healthy baby this time.

Touchwood, everything went well. In December I delivered my baby girl through emergency C-section. Right after the surgery I was taken to the recovery room and came to the ward in 2 hours. Once I got shifted to the ward, baby was brought to me after the routine vital checkup. My mother-in-law was on the way to the hospital. The epidural effect was slowly reducing and I was starting to feel mild pain. She reached the hospital, came to the ward, saw the baby for may be a minute and then she said the exact words “innoru cut poda mudinja, enaku innoru pethi or peran venum”. Innoru cut meaning (if you can go through one more c section). There is nothing wrong is people asking when and if we will have a second child. But there is a place and time to ask all this.

First let’s celebrate the child that’s born, enjoy her, see her grow then we can think whether we want one more or not. And that’s the personal choice of the couple. She did not bother to ask me how I’m doing, how the labor and surgery was. Nothing. She went on repeating this and thankfully my husband also felt it’s really insensitive to ask like this, so he snapped telling “why do you keep telling this to her, she just birthed a baby, if you want go and ask your daughter (his sister) for another child”.

I’m blessed in this way that he stood up for me before I snapped at her. If her daughter was in my place, she ll be concerned about her, what pain she will be enduring. Then she ll be celebrating the baby who is born two hours back. Why this partiality? She doesn’t have to treat me like her own daughter. But as a woman doesn’t she understand how a girl will feel right after delivery?!
If a woman can’t understand another woman’s plight, how can we expect men to understand. I would like to voice this out. Thank you for this opportunity. How much ever I vent this issue out to my close friends, my mind did not have peace. I wanted to post in Vriksham page so that there is some change in people who are insensitive like this.