#voicethisout

I have a story to share. This is my life incident and many don’t talk on what happens to the wife after husband dies. Mostly because the wife is forced to feel guilt and silenced. Yes in 2021 it still happens. I just want to point out how they treat widows so the more we speak up more changes can happen. Please share my story.. I know you don’t share names . Salute to you for changing many people’s life. You are an inspiration.

I grew up without a father figure. Met a wonderful man, who filled my life with lots of love and happiness. He was my best friend.  My life was beautiful. I was his world. My family loved him, anyone who met him loved him. One night he did not come home. A 3 second accident took my husband away from me.  How can someone die like that ? How can he die ? How can I be with him?  I was in shock. Grief was overwhelming. I was 25 and a widow and the society had different issues with me and taught me few things .
1. I am the reason for my husband’s death. I might not be in the car, but it’s either I “let” him go out or my horoscope or my inability to take care of him
2. My life ends when my husband dies
3. I am a bad luck so I am not invited to their house. Definitely not on Friday.
4. I need a lawyer to talk to my in-laws. It might be hard to believe, the moment he died everyone spoke money.
5. My in laws wants me to stay with them forever taking care of them .

6. I cannot move on. They all have this pity, sympathy look and say I shouldn’t cut my hair or do things to make me feel better.
7. I was unable to give him a child ( I was married for a year) and if he had a child he wouldn’t have gone out to eat dinner.

Losing a husband is one thing, being a widow is another.  These people don’t think they hurt me, they think they are right. Many people don’t know what a widow faces in this society.  Why can’t we be kind to each other?

End story : I moved out of India.. I couldn’t bare to live in that society. I studied like crazy and landed in a good job and live better in US. I feel bad for who couldn’t escape that society.